Interview Shminterview

I recently recorded my first author interview for a publishing company who printed one of my short stories.  The interview basics were explained to me, what they wanted and what questions I should answer. It is considered a self interview, meaning I would film it at home and send it in to the publisher. They would then edit it, and post it with links to my story and promote it on their website and on their YouTube channel. My interview ran for 6 minutes and 13 seconds. A bit longer than other author interviews, (around five minutes normally) but I was pleased with it and sent it in to the publisher. 

I spent a little time viewing other author interviews on the Youtube channel. Some were wonderful with beautiful backgrounds and excellent answers. Others, you could tell the author struggled being in front of the camera and that an interview was the furthest thing from comfortable.  All of the interviews were edited with placards before each question.  My interview was me, filmed by me, sitting on the couch in front living room. No special background or interesting environment in close proximity. 

I received an email a few days later stating my interview was posted, thanking me for the rewrites of my story and requesting my Paypal information for final payment for both.  I was pleased and clicked the link.  My story looked great and I liked the graphics the editor chose. I found my interview at the bottom of the story.  I clicked on the interview and found the unedited version.  I was so confused and slightly flustered. My interview looked nothing like the others. They had stressed the importance of forwarding the interview as soon as possible for editing purposes. But nothing was done to my recording. Nothing. There weren't any graphics or fancy placards at the beginning of each question and answer.  At first, I worried that I hadn't delivered the requested video. And they couldn't edit it so they just left it in its original format. 

I received an email a few days later that said, 

"....Thanks for "Crier". You helped make this issue of The Hickory Stump the best that it could be. We look forward to your next submission. I really liked your comportment and voice on the interview. Not everybody can do that. "

I had to look up the word comportment, but I believed that it was compliment. All that worrying, for nothing.  I had been asked to do something that made me uncomfortable and they were pleased with the final outcome. 

Why is it that self doubt sneaks in at inopportune times? If I have confidence as a writer, why not for an interview about writing? I realized that this was just another case of being my own worst critic.  I was critiquing myself before I even knew that my interview was exactly what they wanted.  I panicked only to find out that my interview was candid, reflective and draws in the the listener and reader alike. 

I will probably struggle again in the future when another author interview comes along. I will second guess my ability to do it. But I will also remind myself that sometimes, when I am my own worst critic, I forget to have fun during the process. And when I really reflect on this first time experience, it was fun. It was a learning experience. And I now have my first interview under my belt. Bring on the next one!