Thursday, October 4, 2018

How is it possible that she is 12?

This child for whom I prayed won't listen. She is insistent to grow up. I keep telling her to slow down, and she thinks I am joking. I have two children. She is my baby.  And today, my baby is 12.

How is this happening?  I think of the word children or kids, and I think of my sweet itty bits. I don't think of the sassafras child you see above and or the 15 year old gentle giant that towers over me.  I think of buckling them into car seats. I think of bottle after bottle. I think of diaper after diaper.  But I also think about praying. All of the times Josh and I prayed for children.

I was married young, the day before I turned 20. We thought we were young and would wait a few years before having kids.  We waited and then when we were ready to have kids, it didn't happen. And it didn't happen. And it didn't happen. Infertility caught me off guard.  I came from a family where carrying and having babies was a natural beautiful thing. I had never known anyone to struggle in this area. But struggle we did.

We were told that IVF would be the way to go, and that we then only had a 10 to 15% chance of getting pregnant. We never even got that far. Our doctor grinned ear to ear when I told him I was pregnant, and he said he loved it when his patients proved him wrong.  We were elated to be parents. Zach was the first child we prayed for.

We knew we had everything stacked against us, but then 3 1/2 years later, we were blessed with Miss Lily. Oh, how we prayed for her. I so desperately wanted to have two children.  God met me where I was at.  Broken, so very hurt and desiring a child in my arms.  I was thrilled when we had Lily as I felt our family was complete.

So here is the thing they don't tell you. Those babies grow up.  Into amazing little humans, and then into opinionated pre-teens and then into teenagers.  They also don't seem to mind when they go from children's clothing to adult clothing overnight. Or when they buy women's size 8 tennis shoes instead of trying to find cute fur lined booties like they always have.  I want those cute little rainbow and butterfly tee shirts. I want three pairs of fur lined baby uggs in the back hallway. 

But do you know what excites me?  This child Lily is growing into. This young woman who loves Jesus and telling others about Him. This amazing chidult (person stuck between being a child and an adult) who sees each new day as an adventure. This chidult who wants to make a change and see a better world.  She probably will be President or lead a small gang of snarky women. Either way, my heart will beam. My heart will overflow.  Because God deemed me fit and able to parent this little sprite. He said, that is the mom, that will be the one that will raise Miss Thing. She will be on her knees praying more than standing, but she is the one. And for that gift, I am eternally thankful and grateful.

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