Friday, November 3, 2017

That's Not Right

That’s Not Right
By:Kelli J Gavin

When I was a child, I believed what I was told. I took things at face value. I was very literal.  I also didn’t understand the meaning of many things I heard adults say, but went along with it anyhow, because they were the adult and they knew, well everything.

Gardening was always a very big part of my youth. We ate or canned everything we grew. I once remember panicking at a new friend’s house.  While playing in the backyard, I didn’t see their garden, so I asked where it was. She informed me that they didn’t have one. No garden? Oh no, what were they going to do for food this winter? Were they poor? I was going to have to tell my mom so we could come up with a plan to bring them food that winter so they wouldn’t go hungry. Turns out, we were actually the poor ones, and canned out of necessity.

We were visiting family in Little Canada, and I heard the weird music of an ice cream truck, but I didn’t know what it was. My dad said, “Oh. That is an ice cream truck. They only play the music to let everyone know they are out of ice cream.”  We lived in country and I didn’t know that this wasn’t true until I was probably 12. No lie.

As an adult, I love when I am convinced of one thing only to be corrected by a friend, usually accompanied by fits of laughter. I have come to find out that what I think is true, is always wrong. Something I have been told, or just made up in my own mind, but rarely true. I thought all babies wore cloth diapers until I was 18. I also thought that pregnant mother’s would always give birth before midnight. Also figured out that wasn’t true in my twenties.

Once I started talking about these strange kinds of things with friends, I quickly found out that everyone has had these misunderstandings. And that many times, they are told, That’s Not Right.

Danielle of Carver was told as a child that the mountains were dirt covered dinosaurs and would study them for hours until she could identify the dinosaur. Thanks Danielle’s step dad.

Laura of Hamilton, Georgia believed that she needed to avoid those orange cheese crackers with peanut butter because they would cause her to urinate. Thanks Laura’s Aunt.

Ali of Pheonix, AZ admitted that when her parents used to tell her to eat her food because there were children starving in this world, she would often tell them to send her food to them. She couldn’t figure out why she would get in trouble for saying such things. Thanks Bob and Georgia for keeping Ali in check.

Kevin of Victoria honestly believed that money grew on trees because he constantly heard it from his parents. Thanks Kevin’s parents.  

Amy from Eden Prairie, believed that famous song from Flash Dance contained lyrics such as “ Take your pants off” rather than “Take your passion and make it happen”. Thank you Amy’s friends for correcting her with a chorus of giggles.  

Samantha from Chaska believed that people only died on their birthday.  She had never lost anyone and had no knowledge of death. After a friend’s grandpa died on his birthday, she believed that to be true of everyone.  Thank you , well, life experience for teaching Samantha that this is just not true.

Elise in Minnetonka reports her extreme upset as child whenever she saw her parents drinking pop or even water in the car while driving. She had heard that ad campaign on the tv, Don’t Drink and Drive, and didn’t know that it applied to alcoholic beverages. She was also convinced that her mom always sat on her lunch after making it because the sandwich was squished.  Thanks Mom for not drinking in the car and for sitting on lunches all the time.

But the best story I think I heard while chatting with the ‘locals’ was from Kelly of Chaska.  She said that she thought everyone was required to get a military id at the age of 10. And that everyone knew to stop and look for a flag if you heard the national anthem. Kelly also explained that she thought everyone sang the Marine Corps Hymn as a part of their mornings in elementary school. All this wisdom as a Navy Brat was then proved to be false, when moving off the naval base. Thank you real world for busting Kelly’s bubble.

Kids, ask your parents. Parents ask your kids. This just might be a fun new dinner table conversation. We call it That’s Not Right at the Gavin House. And let’s just say, I have a few more stories to share than most.

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