Sledgehammer

Sledgehammer 

By: Kelli J Gavin

Writers Unite!

Stop telling me what to do.

I don't need your guidance.

I have the instruction manual right here! 

It is in English and I can understand each of the simple steps!

If you say "Righty Tighty or Lefty Loosey" one more time, I may punch you in the throat.

It's a screwdriver, not a sledgehammer.

You continue to act as if I never fended for myself before I met you.

How do you think all of the Ikea furniture was assembled?

Do you think I haven't replaced a license plate on my car?

For the love of all things Holy, go find something else to do.

I am not a child who needs supervision.

Believe it or not, I was the one who attached the new knobs on the kitchen cupboards and drawers.

You even told me how great they looked. 

Did you think they magically appeared?

Maybe I applied them with duct tape and they miraculously stayed in place?

If you can trust me to function on daily basis and run this household, why is it that attaching a new door knob must be above my skill level?

I GIVE UP.

Take your stupid screwdriver. 

The screws are on the floor.

Do it yourself.

If you need me, I will be in search of the sledgehammer. 

-This is the perfect example of why I love listening to other people's conversations.