Sledgehammer
By: Kelli J Gavin
Writers Unite!
Stop telling me what to do.
I don't need your guidance.
I have the instruction manual right here!
It is in English and I can understand each of the simple steps!
If you say "Righty Tighty or Lefty Loosey" one more time, I may punch you in the throat.
It's a screwdriver, not a sledgehammer.
You continue to act as if I never fended for myself before I met you.
How do you think all of the Ikea furniture was assembled?
Do you think I haven't replaced a license plate on my car?
For the love of all things Holy, go find something else to do.
I am not a child who needs supervision.
Believe it or not, I was the one who attached the new knobs on the kitchen cupboards and drawers.
You even told me how great they looked.
Did you think they magically appeared?
Maybe I applied them with duct tape and they miraculously stayed in place?
If you can trust me to function on daily basis and run this household, why is it that attaching a new door knob must be above my skill level?
I GIVE UP.
Take your stupid screwdriver.
The screws are on the floor.
Do it yourself.
If you need me, I will be in search of the sledgehammer.
-This is the perfect example of why I love listening to other people's conversations.
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