At home, my kids pretend to moan and groan each time they hear me say, "Alexa. Play Sam Smith from my library." Or, " Alexa. Play Adele 25." The best is when I say, " Alexa, play Lauren Daigle from Pandora." My daughter knows that I will only be available when the list has played itself out and dinner is ready to be served. Eye rolls commence when I ask for a song to be repeated.
Today, when Lily was playing with a neighbor friend, they decided to go upstairs and play dollhouse in the loft. I was folding laundry in the living room. I was enjoying hearing them play, but then she realized I was listening. So I said, "Alexa, play Sam Smith from my library." She pretended to groan again and I laughed. Within a minute I hear her singing, "All that I am asking, is for a little clarity. That's all that really matters to me. Ooo, it hits me without warning, tears are in my eyes..." "Oh, I light up a cigarette. I drink it down til there's nothing left. And I can't get no sleep. Lord knows there's no relief....and I drown in my bitterness. I can't get no Peace. No peace. " Then she says to me in an elevated voice, " Mom, I know I always complain when you are listening to music, but I always find myself singing it. I love this song. "
Needless to say we had a very important conversation about not ever drowning her heartache or sorrows with cigarettes or liquor. She laughed. "Mom, I like everything else about that song. Not the cigarettes and liquor. Also, I don't know if anyone is ever going to break my heart." Good girl. We then had a conversation about inevitable heartbreak. She laughed at me and gave me a an "Okay Mom" smile over the banister and went back to playing dollhouse with her friend.
When I am in my car, it has been a non stop performance of The Greatest Showman for the past few months. Never Enough is my anthem of choice. When I was listening the other day on my way to work, I found a couple tears poke the corners of my eyes. I was once again moved to tears. Moved to tears by a song that I have heard a million times. That says a lot about the music. When it invokes tears months after initial exposure. I also love the goose bumps that prickle my arms and legs when a song produces such an amazing amount of joy.
Lily and I had another interesting conversation this evening. I asked her if she remembered all the times she would question me when she was tiny if a song was about Jesus. I told her there were mainly two types of music. Music that was about Jesus and music that was called a love song. When she was five she told me that there are also songs about people you love that you can't be with anymore. I told her she might be country singer in disguise. She had no idea what I was talking about. Lily told me that she totally remembered and felt that if it was about Jesus it could be a love song too. I told she was absolutely correct.
Zach's love of music revolves around Sunday morning worship music and anything Lily and I are listening too. He seems to be able to find something amazing in each and every song. Sometimes it is a skipped beat, a repetitive chorus or even when he knows who really sings it. He loves The Newsboys, Peter Furler and Toby Mac. Often times he will even profess his love for a song because he loves the hand movements of a worship leader or has latched on to a quirky vibrato of a support singer. He once warbled on and on at the end of song. He saw me smirking and said , "She sings that song so nice." He loves a good strong vibrato. Zach's affinity for all things Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, the ABC song and Baa Baa Black Sheep stems from his ability to play the simple notes on his keyboard which is permanently positioned next to his bed just in case he feels a late night concert should commence.
Some of my favorite memories from childhood revolve around music. My mom singing from Broadway musicals. My aunt, uncle and my mom leading Sunday morning hymns in perfect harmony at Immanual Baptist in St. Paul. Both of my grandmas singing loudly so out of tune, I often was forced to stifle laughter. The way I would sit in awe listening to my voice teacher, Liz Grefshiem sing the scales as we warmed up together. I remembered thinking she could make any song sound beautiful. Even the ABC's.
Still to this day, I am drawn to other vocalists. People who love music. People who sing and hum and seem to never be able to exist in silence. Those that are appreciators of great music. Those without a lick of talent in them, but shed a tear when in the presence of beautiful music. I often times find that music can express what I am not able to. The notes, the way they glide and soar and peak, and then the volume falls until the very last sound is savored.
Yes, I will continue having conversations about music lyrics with Lily. Reveling over new soundtracks with her. Laughing with her over music that just seems silly and bizarre. But I will probably spend more time singing with her. Enjoying all types of music with her. Sharing with her my love of music. And learning about what music she loves and why. She thinks that I should write a short story about a colony of people that only speak to each other in music lyrics. I might just do that. Lily already understands in her short 11 years, that music often communicates all that people can not. The unspoken finds its place in music.
Side note. These are the actual lyrics to the amazing Sam Smith song. Totally a love song about someone you can't be with according to Lily.
I see you in the morning
Feel your fingers in my hair
Sometimes I still pretend you’re there
Feel your fingers in my hair
Sometimes I still pretend you’re there
It hits me without warning
Your reflection walking by
But I know it’s only in my mind
Your reflection walking by
But I know it’s only in my mind
Will you show me the piece of my heart I’ve been missing?
Won’t you give me the part of myself that I can’t get back?
Will you show me the piece of my heart I’ve been missing?
'Cause I’d kill for you
And darling you know that
Won’t you give me the part of myself that I can’t get back?
Will you show me the piece of my heart I’ve been missing?
'Cause I’d kill for you
And darling you know that
So I’ll light up a cigarette
I’ll drink it down ‘til there’s nothing left
‘Cause I sure can’t get no sleep
And Lord knows there’s no relief
You held my heart in your fingertips
So now I drown in my bitterness
Oh, I can’t get no sleep
And I sure won’t, I sure won’t find no peace
No peace
I’ll drink it down ‘til there’s nothing left
‘Cause I sure can’t get no sleep
And Lord knows there’s no relief
You held my heart in your fingertips
So now I drown in my bitterness
Oh, I can’t get no sleep
And I sure won’t, I sure won’t find no peace
No peace
All that I am asking
Is for a little clarity
That’s all that really matters to me
Is for a little clarity
That’s all that really matters to me
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